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Posts from the ‘Humor’ Category

Forgive me father for I have sinned…

It’s been one year since my last confession, er, uh I mean one year since my last post!

-I’ve forgotten how to make use of the many features here at WordPress.com

-I’ve been intimidated by the whole writing/blogging process.

-I’ve coveted my neighbors’ blog.

-I’ve procrastinated.

You get the idea. Well it’s good to be back! Even with only this short note of commitment to blog more this year (heck I’ll beat my 2012 posts, if I can make it into next month!)

I’ve got some penance to go do, but I’ll be back soon!

Happy New Year ūüôā Joe H

P.S. I’v also noticed that I’ve got advertisers! No I don’t get any royalties. Turns out that’s part of the WordPress deal, you get some advertising popped on your blog at random… so far I’m flattered, nothing I absolutely wouldn’t endorse.

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Quote of The Day

Work is crazy this week and probably for the next few. As much as I would like to write more, I probably will be unable. Hey, it’s good to have plenty of work! At any rate, I will at least do my very best to have a positive quote of the day, every day, even if I can’t comment on it!

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic!

I can’t find anyone to attribute this to, but I can tell you that I found it and other great quotes at croatia.org. A blog about all things Croatian… I know, strange, but that’s where I found it. The link I’ve¬†embedded¬†goes straight to the particular post where other great quotes can be found. Go try something new and have a great day! Joe H

WiFi Wars (A Few Laughs For Your Day)

Seems folks are communicating through their WiFi with anyone close enough to pick them up, usually their neighbors. Apparently one neighbor named his “Hack Me if you can!” The next day he signed on and found his WiFi name had been changed to “Challenge Accepted!” Scary, and… well, kinda funny!

Many things can influence your day; what you read (You Are What You Read), what you eat (The Human Diet) and the friends you keep (The Five People You Hang Out With). What you listen to also has a big influence! At least for me.

Locally my “drive to work radio” choices are Glenn Beck or Bob and Tom. Pretty diverse no? If you’ve not heard of these two, or for that matter either one of these two, you’re living under a rock! Just kidding. If your not familiar with them, just ¬†click on their names, I’ve linked each to their websites.¬†

I’m not a huge fan of politics in popular media, especially on the radio. I was at one time though. I even had XM for a time and a longer commute, so I listened frequently. If I listened to a left leaning station I would get pissed, so I gravitated to more conservative radio. The difference? It just took me longer to realize that the right leaning shows pissed me off as well! Why get mad over some things, probably most things, outside of my sphere of influence? At least occasionally Glenn Beck has some humor!

Bob and Tom on the other hand is 99.9% comedy. Be advised it’s often “off color” comedy but pretty darn funny! Rarely they’ll allude to politics… somewhat left leaning… hey they’re entertainers what do you expect!? I have Bob and Tom to thank for today’s topic. They were talking back and forth about different WiFi network names this morning. Pretty funny stuff! Once I got to work and close to a computer I searched for WiFi names and quickly realized it is a subject that has been covered extensively in the “blogosphere.” Not blogs like this one, but blogs that have been around for awhile, mostly “techy,” some getting thousands of visits per day and many, with some outrageous content!

Looking at several I found that most humerus WiFi names come from one of three catagories:

1. Take off on names:

Abraham Lynksys (Right on Mr. President!)

Kenny Log-Ins (Old School Muzak)

Bill Wi The Science Fi (Old School Techy, HA!)

2. A Couple of Great Tunes:

Wi Believe I can Fi (R. Kelly’s Best! Love this track!)

Pretty Fly for a WiFi (Great tune from The Offspring)

3. And Finally, Warnings-Commands-Requests:

Virus Infected WiFi (Wouldn’t risk using this one)

Get Off My LAN (Modern take on an old theme)

FBI Surveillance Van (Big Brothers Watching You!)

I’ve Seen You Naked (Your Neighbors Watching You! Close the Blinds!)

PlzBringVodkaToApt1310 (Back away from the Smirnoff!)

The take home for me? I definitely prefer to start my day out with some humor! I hope this little bit will add a smile to your day too! Joe H

On Getting Older WITHOUT Ageing

Everyone wants to get older, no one wants to age!¬†–Joe Hamilton, talking with a patient, sometime last year.

As a “baby boomer,” (along with every other generation) I’m getting older. I really feel it at work when I ask my co-workers to “get me a ‘xerox’ of this chart please.” Most just look at me quizzically and ask, “you need me to copy that chart?” Others are so young they don’t know that xerox is now one of many copier manufacturers, much less remember a time when xerox was the ONLY company that made copy machines!

Heck, I remember “dittos!” The copy machine that rendered all of our printed material at school in a distinct blue print!

And of course, like every red-blooded American male boomer of the 70’s I remember¬†“dittos” the great looking pants girls wore to school…¬† Hey guys, I’m happy to report dittos (the pants of course) are making a comeback!¬†Sorry, back on topic;

There is, however a way to get older without excessive ageing. Exercise and eating right. Don’t shoot me, I’m just the messenger. Seriously, best exercise methodology (if applied correctly) for slow-ageing?¬†CrossFit. This is my informed opinion, for three reasons:

1. CrossFit has THE best methods, based on a comprehensive definition of fitness, and strict adherence to¬†aligning it’s programming with human energy systems, as opposed to training for aesthetics.

2. CrossFit continues to develop best practices of it’s methods by using an open source philosophy, the only exercise methodology to my knowledge to take advantage of the internet, communication and media, strictly for the purpose of improving the practice of developing peak human performance. (As opposed to strictly for marketing)

3. CrossFit is¬†scale-able. Don’t discount CrossFit for it’s focus on Olympic Weightlifting, gymnastics, sprint training, and their use in a high intensity interval training format. It’s true affiliate gyms and their coaches are taught to scale workouts to each athlete’s abilities. Can’t do a single push-up, pull-up or dip? Think you might be allergic to iron, and/or can’t see yourself doing a barbell clean from the floor? Haven’t run in awhile? Don’t worry there’s ways to get you from zero to hero WITHOUT injury… in the hands of the right coach!

Check the CrossFit affiliate in your area. If the workouts are not scaled to your needs, there’s probably two or more CrossFit affiliates in your city or surrounding area to choose from, find the right fit.

Even if there are no CrossFit affiliates in your area, go to the main website and subscribe to the CrossFit Journal. For $25.00 bucks a year  some of the BEST writing on strength and conditioning anywhere! You get a searchable database of all past journals, videos, pod-casts and articles, along with the new material that comes out every month. An amazing resource.

So there’s your answer to the exercise half of the equation. What about the whole “eating right,” half you ask? Great question, I will attempt to answer that tomorrow! Until then; please, continue to get older (it’s better than the alternative!) and I hope you’ll visit again for more suggestions on how to do so with less “ageing” along the way!

A Big ‘Ol Pile of Horse Manure

No, I’m not going to talk about the current political¬†campaigns… EVER! Rather I’d like to comment on positive versus negative thinking.

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. ¬†—Winston Churchill

This quote was taken from a book Linda’s reading on her Kindle,¬†¬†Brett Blumenthal’s 52 Small Changes: One Year to a Happier, Healthier You. I immediately loved this¬†quote,¬†as opposed to the age old, half empty versus half full cup. But to beat all, (even Churchill?) I would like to share a scientific study with you:

Behavioral scientists studied two eight year old boys, one was reported by his parents, peers and teachers, as being extremely pessimistic, the second was said to be an incurable optimist.

The pessimistic boy was placed in a room full of toys, the optimist in a room full of horse manure. That’s right, manure, muck, dung, compost, fertilizer, droppings, stinky, smelly Horse s@#t! Or for scientific journals “Equine¬†Defecation.”

Four hours later, the learned scientists looked in on the pessimist and found him sitting, head bowed and held in his hands with a sour look on his face among the toys. His inactivity and sour demeanor prompted the following exchange:

Scientist: What are you doing?

Pessimist: Nothing.

Scientist: But why? Why not throw the football or baseball?

Pessimist: I’ll break something!

Scientist: oh, uh, well why not ride the bike?

Pessimist: I’ll fall and hurt myself!

Scientist: Well you could read a book, watch the TV, or play one of the Video games!

Pessimist: Books are boring, TV will hurt my eyes and video games will turn my brain to mush.

After taking a few notes, the scientist went to the room with the optimistic boy and horse manure. They found him covered in manure, running up and down the mountain of muck, gathering it in his hands and throwing it up in the air while  dancing and singing! The Q and A period was much shorter in this room;

Scientist: What are you doing!

The¬†optimistic¬†boy answered without taking a second to stop what he was doing: Are you kidding? With all this horse poop there’s got to be a pony in here somewhere!!

Okay, maybe not better than Churchill, but hopefully made you smile! Have a dung filled day!¬† And don’t forget; “there’s got to be a pony in there somewhere!” Joe H

Please check back tomorrow, I hope to tell a little more about the Casa Hogar (Orphanage) experience in Mexico (see yesterdays video, under Computers Sex and Nuclear Energy) and share some pictures. Thanks, Joe H

P.S.! Did you know that the spelling for the words defecation, and deification¬†are only off by two letters! I’m serious! Check the links on each word and think of that next time someone places some Hollywood God/Goddess, Singer, Sports Star, Blogger etc. on a¬†pedestal! Hey, I’m just say’en!